Amusing Nothings

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.-----------------------------------------------------


Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. --------------------


------------------------------------------------------ The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.


------------------------------------------------------ To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

------------------------------------------------------ When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.


------------------------------------------------------ The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.------------------------------------------------------


A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. -----------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------- A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------He became a hardened criminal.-------------------------------------------------------


Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.


-------------------------------------------------------- We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.


-------------------------------------------------------- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.


-------------------------------------------------------- The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.


---------------------------------------------------------- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.-----------------------------------------------------------



If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. ---------------------


----------------------------------------------------------- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.


A will---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
is a dead giveaway.


------------------------------------------------------------- A backward poet writes inverse.


------------------------------------------------------------- In a democracy it's your vote that counts;
in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.--------------------------------------------------------



-------------------------------------If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

--------------------------------------------------------------- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.


--------------------------------------------------------------- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was full recovered---------------------------------------------------------



-------Local Area Network in Australia : ------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------The LAN down under.

------------------------------------------------------------------ A calendar's days are numbered.


------------------------------------------------------------------ A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.------------------------------------------------------------------


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------A boiled egg,
is hard to beat.
------------------------------------------------------------------ He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

------------------------------------------------------------------ Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.


------------------------------------------------------------------- When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.


-------------------------------------------------------------------- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, ----------------------------------------------------------------------
she thought she'd dye.