Grammy goes High Tech

Good Morning! Hope all you readers are happy and contented. To be in that state is truly a blessing.

At the expense of sounding uninformed, I want to share an experience I had last week. My favorite gas station is forever changed. For some reason their supplier decided to outsource and since I can't go to China for service it required me to change my habits regarding gassing up my car. You see I had used this same station for about 10 years and even though it wasn't full service, Kenneth, manager, would always come fill my tank for me. So I am not versed on the modern gadgets that involve pushing all these buttons, knowing which slot (and believe you me there are lots to choose from) to put the card into etc.

Well, the other day, my red light came on flashing at me telling me that I was real close to the walking stage. Let me digress for a moment, I had this cub that ran out of gas more times in a week than most do in a lifetime. But since he is too far away to return the favor to bring me gas and besides I don't think he would appreciate pink furry houseshoes (private joke), I wheeled into this station with utmost confidence that I could master a little chore like getting gas.

My first challenge was opening the gas tank lid. You know they don't even put knobs or anything to help on those things. After a bit I got it open and was feeling pretty good. The next challenge was to choose which credit card. Boy now I am on a roll. I select the Visa and put my card into the slot above the pictures of the cards. Well the first time I put it in, it spits it back so hard it lands on the ground. I pick it up and this time I shove it in pretty good. Next I push lots of other buttons and still nothing happens. So setting pride aside, I push the button labeled Help. I wait a good long while and finally a voice comes out of nowhere and says, "Could I help you" now don't you think this is a stupid question for someone who had just pushed the help button. Anyway, I say, "Yes, there seems to be a problem with this pump, I put my card in but it still won't work." Since she is overworked and the store understaffed, I have to wait a while longer.

Then this very pleasant young lady comes bouncing out to the pump. When I show her where I put my card, I could see her hiding a smile. She replied, "Don't worry, you put your card in the wrong slot (it happens all the time, yeah right) but I will have to go get the key". After another wait of several minutes she comes bouncing back with a key. She finally dug my card out and gave me a brief lesson on what to do next. I finished filling my car with gas and was feeling better about it when low and behold a light comes on and asked me if I want a receipt. I push the yes button and stand and wait at the slot where I first put my card. You see that was really the receipt slot. Well nothing came out so I just decided they could keep the receipt and started to get in my car to leave. Here comes this sweet young lady again waving my receipt and telling me that somehow the receipt printer wasn't working on that pump at the moment. Duh, some grammy had just crammed her card into the printer slot. This young lady's bright smile and happy attitude just made my day!

"Whoa"

FACTS TO PONDER:


(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. Is 700,000

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services.

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Now think about this:

Guns:

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. Is 80,000,000.

(Yes, that's 80 million..)

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(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is
1,500.

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(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is

.000188

Statistics courtesy of the FBI

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So, statistically, doctors are approximately

9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Truly a "Mother's Day"

Well what a day! What a life! What a family! Who could ask for more, certainly not me. My cubs all called, sent flowers, cards, gifts and best of all told me "they love me". If I die and go to heaven tonight I will certainly be one happy Mother!!! My Alien took me out to eat and pretty much catered to me all weekend. Even the little westies seemed to know I was having a special day and believe it or not there were no puddles, yukies, etc to surprise me.

To the cubs who are scared that Marbela has misplaced her marbles, they will have it confirmed when the "rest of the story" of the shopping trip evolves. The hospital is sponsoring a dog show this coming Saturday. They are doing this to raise money for the "Relay for Life" a big fund raiser all businesses participate in and it goes to cancer research. Well, since we know that our westies will be the cutest there, we decided to deck them out a little. So yesterday, we came home with of all things Harley Davidson Jackets, Harley Davidson Caps, and Harley Davidson collars for them to wear. We had to dress them up since we knew there was no way they could win the categories of the best mannered and surely not the best trained so we will do it the American way and depend on "LOOKS". Pictures will be shared.

The Alien got our new canopy up today on the deck. Hopefully we will get the pool opened within the next two weeks.

Busy week coming up, the cub is now in softball practice, plus the final few days of school. I think she will be exempted from finals as her grades are As and Bs. She also has riding lessons this week. Add to that my hair appointment, Frosty's third shot and George's department is having their annual hamburger cook (also to raise money for cancer).

Thanks for sharing your time.

"Does Money Talk"

One day a man called the church office. He said, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?

"The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said, "I'm sorry, who?" The caller repeated, "Can I speak to the head hog at thetrough?" She said, "Well, if you mean the preacher, then you may refer to him as 'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but I prefer that you not refer to him as the 'head hog at the trough'!"

To this the man replied, "Well, I was planning on giving$100,000 to the building fund...."To this the secretary quickly responded "Hang on, I think the big fat pig just walked in!"

Where there is a will there is a way

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors' special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. "Sounds good," I said. "But I don't want the eggs.""

Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned me. "You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" I asked incredulously."YES!!" stated the waitress.

"I'll take the special then." I said. "How do you want your eggs?" the waitress asked."Raw and in the shell," I replied. I took the two eggs home. DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!! We've been around the block more than once.