The duck and the lawyer
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural
Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell
into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As
the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer
drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell
in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural
Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell
into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As
the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer
drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell
in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you
are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best
trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything
you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you
don't know how we settle disputes in Tennessee. We
settle small disagreements like this with the "Three
Kick Rule."The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs
on my land, first I kick you three times and then you
kick me three times and so on back and forth until
someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed
contest and decided that he could easily take the old
codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor
and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted
the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the
lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His
second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal
gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third
kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh
cow pie . The lawyer summoned every bit of his will
and managed to get to his feet.. Wiping his face with
the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart.
Now it's my turn."
[I love this part....]
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You
can have the duck.
This is so like someone we all know and loved don't you think?
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best
trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything
you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you
don't know how we settle disputes in Tennessee. We
settle small disagreements like this with the "Three
Kick Rule."The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs
on my land, first I kick you three times and then you
kick me three times and so on back and forth until
someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed
contest and decided that he could easily take the old
codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor
and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted
the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the
lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His
second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal
gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third
kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh
cow pie . The lawyer summoned every bit of his will
and managed to get to his feet.. Wiping his face with
the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart.
Now it's my turn."
[I love this part....]
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You
can have the duck.
This is so like someone we all know and loved don't you think?
2 comments:
OMG THAT WAS FUNNY
Ya, there's a certain oneriness that rings true there. Grandpa J had some unique ways of doing things.
I remember one example, all the "lessons" from teachers and stuff about not talking to strangers and don't pickup hitchikers ---and then with Grandpa J we'd pretty much pickup anyone on the side of the road and he had a way of getting the most interesting stories from them.
Then we'd have a "debriefing" after we dropped them off on human nature and what we could learn from their stories. Got more interesting stuff from that than any teachers' injunctions.
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