"WATCH WHAT YOU SAY"

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the doctor asked him, "What happened to you?""Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.""I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt.""Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'""I don't remember much after that..."